endthymes:

“does anyone else-” yes

“am i the only one who-” no

“is it weird that i-” probably not

(via valeur--reprise)

angelicjace:

tommilsom:

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O”

The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and there’s really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work”

The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.

I

(via brutal-pokemon)

catswithbenefits:

i love 50 cent, or as he is known in Zimbabwe; four hundred million dollars

(via thehoboacrossthestreet)

danisnotafaggot:

gay marriage is legal in the sims god damn it real world sort your shit out

(via hhoonnyyaa)

niqqaniall:

i’m 16 and i still walk up the stairs with my hands how do they expect me to learn algebra

(via hhoonnyyaa)

justfeedmepizza:

derekthereindeer:

why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone 

(Source: jaredtops, via hhoonnyyaa)

jackstroubleinatanktop:

In Texas, we don’t say “i love you”, we say “BBQ moo moo cow horse lone star Gorge Bush giant ass trucks country” which roughly translates to “I’m better than you.” i think that’s really beautiful.

(via daft-life)